The blog
Strategies and inspiration for healing, dating and loving for the long term
Desperate for closure? Don’t make these mistakes
In my work as a relationship coach, people often come to me when they are recovering from heartbreak, and are desperate to get ‘closure’. I see them making the same mistakes over and over again in both their...
How attachment wounds affect breakups
Over the course of the last ten years, I have worked with thousands of individuals going through breakups. My experience has shown me that the vast majority of individuals who experience incredibly painful breakups are...
Are they trustworthy? The Time Factor
Trust is something that is developed over time. There’s a very simple reason for that: it’s because two of the three measures of trust depend on a certain amount of time, before you can be sure of them. I’m going to...
Good boundaries after a breakup
As you leave a relationship, in the early stages of a breakup, you may find yourself struggling with fully separating and differentiating your thoughts (from the place of ‘we’ to ‘I’) and reclaiming your boundaries....
What to do if you’re living with your ex
In an ideal world, when a relationship is over, you or they can move out and start to move on. But in reality that’s not always an immediate practical possibility for some. You might have to carry on living with them...
How to have a healthy relationship
When people talk about great relationships, they often get a little bit fixated on the concept of ‘chemistry’ (the alchemy of those warm, bubbly, fuzzy, liberating, butterfly-in-tummy inspiring, uplifting feelings...
Every day is a fresh start
There’s something magical about the first calendar day of a new year. It’s full of promise and the perfect moment for a fresh start. But, at the same time, there’s something that feels so heavy about the idea of having...
How to know if you have good internal boundaries
When we talk about boundaries, it’s helpful to distinguish between boundaries that you have with yourself and boundaries you have with others. In this article, talk through the kind of boundaries you have with...
How to be a better listener
Why are we not properly taught the skill of listening, when we’re at school?! We’re always told we should be listening… but it’s very rare that we’re actually taught how we can be a good listener! Here are...
What is a pseudo-issue?
When you’re in conflict with someone, do you ever get a sneaky suspicion that the subject you are arguing about isn’t the *real* problem? If you do, that might mean that you are upset about a pseudo issue. ...
How to know if you are ready to date again
A question I get asked a lot in relationship coaching is ‘how will I know when I am ready to date again?’ or ‘How soon is too soon to start dating again, after a breakup’. I’m a strong advocate of a conscious...
How to respond rather than react
Do you ever find yourself saying things you regret? Or reacting to a situation or a person in a way that, deep down, you know is going to make the situation worse? It’s easily done, particularly in situations that are...
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